RELEASE IT!

Recently, I was trying to make a point and relay a life lesson to my kids by telling them the legendary fable of the monkey who wouldn’t let go. But by the end of the story, as I was making my point, it dawned on me that the fable was more for my benefit than theirs. The tale goes a little something like this:

In a certain village in India, there was a pesky and mischievous little monkey that was relentless in raiding goods and causing problems amongst the villagers.  After countless attempts to catch him, someone thought of a new tactic of using a large jar filled with peanuts at the bottom.  They placed the jar in an area where they were sure the monkey would go.  As expected, later that day, the monkey curiously approached the jar and eagerly reached his hand in the jar to grab the peanuts.  However, after grabbing a handful of peanuts, the monkey couldn’t remove his clenched fist, as the neck of the jar was too narrow. With his hands still clenched around his prized catch, the monkey struggled to break free from his trap. But because he refused to let go and release the peanuts he thought he couldn’t do without, the villagers staking out the scene captured him and carried him away, still clenching the bait that reeled him in.

Have you ever found yourself at times like that monkey, relentlessly refusing to release the objects of your desire and holding tightly to those things that keep you captive and trapped? The key point to remember is that the monkey was never trapped!  All he had to do was LET GO… to RELEASE the grip of his clenched fist around the object that kept him from his freedom and enjoyment of life.

Often, we are so blinded by our own desires and false perceptions that we too become trapped, enslaved by a life that is not God’s best for us. Because we refuse to release our grip on something we desperately want, we lose the freedom and abundance we were intended by God to experience and enjoy. If John 10:10 is true, that Jesus came to not only give us life but give it more abundantly, then it’s probably safe to conclude that we can’t get to the “more abundantly” part if we are busy holding on to stuff that blocks the flow of freedom and abundance that was originally designed for us.

Recently, I came upon a chapter in Anita Carmen’s book, Making Sense of Your Life, that asked another one of those profound questions that I love. The chapter title alone, “Release Plans That No Longer Work,” resonated enough with me that I immediately started taking mental note of the "stuff" I needed to release to receive God’s best and to be God’s best.  However, what caused me to stop and re-evaluate was this zinger: “The question is, when you are working with a wrong plan, will you have the courage to give it up?”

Hmmm……

Well, as fairly competent adults, we typically know when we are “working with a wrong plan.” That’s not the problem. The heart of the matter is whether or not we have the courage to give it up?

We naturally gravitate and cling to what is most familiar, even when we intellectually know it’s not what is God’s best. Even if it puts us at risk, we cling to the familiar because it has become our “safe place." We become comfortable in this safe place because at least it is predictable. We lack the confidence and faith that gives us courage to venture onto the right path, because we don't know what’s around the bend.

Our so-called safe place is only the delusion of our imagination, deceiving us into believing that although we continue along the same unproductive path we've always taken, we are "walking in faith” that change is ‘a coming.

However, we have to have the desire, courage and faith to let go and release those things (draining and unfruitful relationships, negative habits and behaviors, destructive lifestyle, corrupt thinking, entitlement mindsets, negative self perceptions, resentment, forgiveness, unrealistic expectations, the list goes on….) in order to receive something better.

Matthew 11:28-30 reminds me of this when Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

This verse reminds us to LET GO of all those things that burden us, that wear on us and give us stress, and RELEASE them to the only One who is equipped to do anything about them. For when we do release them to our Heavenly Father, then we receive in exchange His easy and light load.  

Sometimes, it’s not a wrong activity, behavior or path that we are involved in that needs to be released. As social human beings, we are relational; and most often the thing we need to release are false perceptions and unrealistic expectations from people we know. Too many times we stress out because someone didn’t respond to us in a certain way we would have desired for them to respond.  

Whether it is a spouse, parent, child, family member, friend, co-worker, pastor, church member, we have to be diligent  about RELEASING people from not doing, responding, reacting or behaving how we think they should (even when we are sure our way is the best way).  Sometimes people don’t respond in ways that make us feel validated, respected, desired, cared for, understood, wanted, needed or valued. Because of this, we allow our emotions to keep us captive, even though most of the time it is unintentional on their end. We automatically assume and make interpretations and accusations that they don’t love us, don’t like our ideas, aren’t supportive, don’t care, aren’t interested, don’t appreciate us, don’t value us... and so on. We create all kinds of stories in our heads, all because someone didn’t respond the “right” way.

We can change the course of our relationship with that person -- and even our entire life -- if we find the courage to RELEASE them from the emotional obligation we place on them. This doesn’t mean we are to be naïve and not learn from situations; it just means we don’t allow situations to consume us and emotionally keep us captive. And once we can do this, we release ourselves from the emotional torment and captivity to unfulfilled expectations that NO person will ever fulfill…at least consistently and persistently.

As mere humans, we weren’t created and designed to fulfill every emotional void or need for others. The only person designed to carry that load is our Heavenly Father who said He came to not only give life, but to give it more abundantly.   

So as tempting as it is NOT TO, we have to RELEASE ourselves from the stress, anxiety, hurt, anger, bitterness, disappointment, entitlement, expectations, fear and doubt of holding someone else accountable and responsible for our joy, peace, success and freedom in life. When we genuinely and humbly release others, we release ourselves, and then we are able to receive God’s grace, freedom, peace and abundance that He desires and freely grants.

Sometimes you might find yourself trapped by plans that no longer work, to emotions and unrealistic expectations that keep you swinging like a pendulum, or to habits and behaviors that keep you stagnant and unproductive in a place that’s less than God's best. You might be carrying a heavy load, a burden that keeps you weary, weak, never satisfied, always looking for more, but never truly finding it.  Like the monkey, you keep your hands clinched on that “prized catch” that quickly reveals itself to be bait that was a set up, used to lure you in... bait that keeps you bound to an empty attachment that ultimately keeps you emotionally, physically or spiritually captive and trapped to an area in your life that only Christ can free you from.

Remember, once we enter into His grace, we find that all along we were never trapped. And like the monkey, no matter how tightly we clench our fist, all we have to do is have the courage to... LET GO!

~ CleRenda McGrady